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| Saturday 27th March 2004 07:36 |
I can hear you in a whisper, but you cant even hear me screaming |
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| Wow, it ws actually warm today. And it was actually an okay day of school.in chorus we didnt get to sing which kinda sucked cuz instead we watched jesus christ superstar but that was ok cuz me and april made up a whole new story for it...like "butch" haha and the girl was a hooker and jesus and jodus were gay..yeah it made it much more interesting. but yeah,...then in study hall nothing interesting happened, i got harrassed by bill and i was obnoxious to maeve and bill so that was fun. then i got a 110 on my english test which was good cuz i havent been in school lately. in math i did stuff i have no clue how to do, global was a review game and those are never fun, me and maggie lost, of course. in lunch, well...is lunch ever fun? naahhh! then in spanish i was really upset about something and i would tell kyle but he was great about it. then in bio we had to look at cow ovaries which ya know is always FUN! *NOT* then in study hall me and maggie did the attendance sheets which was kinda boring cuz i didnt see anyone i knew. then i get on the bus and have to sit with kyle cuz theres no other seats and he molested me hahaha jk and read some of my poems. eek. n then i get home and go talk to my mom and stuff. then i walk the dog, and when tara got home we walked to the store where i finally got my damn ice cream. still havent eaten any. although i was a pig and ate like the whole bag of chips i got. feel really guilty about that. BAD JESSI!! Ally called me back n she cant come over...surprise surprise. well i might go to her house tomorrow but idk. uh lets see what else? something came on i needed to tape but couldnt find the tape in time so i didnt get it. um im waiting for the tv to watch something tonight and if i dont get it i will be very upset. my mom pissed me off earlier by doing something and i retaliated by doing nothing..to her at least. like usual. fuck. im so dumb. and yeah that was my day. ive been in school 2 days this week. on sunday i was majorly sick and i slept all day, so i didnt go to school on monday. i planned to go back on tuesday but when i woke up i felt like shit so i didnt go. i went on wednesday only to still feel terrible so i stayed home thursday and went today. woo fun week. it went by really quickly. im so glad. only 9 more days of school till break. wonder what i'll do, i wanna go to tiphanies, but idk if i can get rides there and back. so ill prolly end up with ally. haha. and if i end up staying home i will kill myself. i dont want to stay here with woo...happy family. bunch of bs right there. my mom is such a bitch lately. like i need to take my comp to get it fixed and shes all like maybe we should wait till ur report card to see how ur doing, and im just like well then im gonna have to keep using urs and shes like u can...for HW and i dont want to i really need to talk to people. and so shes like fine if u bring home a note from all ur teachers saying ur passing then we can take it to get fixed. well fuck that i didnt do it, i just told her that all my teachers said i was passing and she seemed fine with that, but still no move to take it in. UGH im on this right now without her knowing and oh well. i really dont care. she never used to care about my grades so much and i think its davids fault. fuck him. he has no right to interfere in my life. im really pissed. i cant open my window cuz its closed too tightly (thanks david) and i wanted to sit on the roof the other day so im sitting there pushing on my window and it cut me so im all like great, fuckin open u dumb window. but it wouldnt. so it pissed me off greatly. wow ive written a lot and im sick of all the bs so im leavin. |
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| Saturday 20th March 2004 12:19 |
You've already won me over... |
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| Its the first day of spring! And theres snow on the ground...how depressing. i want to go to the store and buy chips and ice cream. idk why tho. I went to the musical last night with tara...it was really good. LoL i almost lost it when Mikes pants fell down..woo, sexy haha. but it was fun. long, but funny. n i was dumb n didnt wear a coat so when we were waiting for my mom to get us i was freezing my ass off and tara wouldnt let me wait inside. bitch. lol well i prolly should have worn a coat but oh yeah i dont have one. wowzers. im fuckin bored as hell. I need to do my chores but im lazy and dont want to. but oh well i prolly better go do them so i can get money. woo money. lol. alright im gonna go clean...fun shit. |
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| Tuesday 16th March 2004 06:06 |
Broken, Lifeless, I give up |
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| You’re an Outcast Angel! These angels were once upon a time, very loved, and of the highest ranks of all the angels. But, when something terrible happened in their lives, much like the dark-angels, the outcasts leave the heavens and move down to earth. Outcast angels are not necessarily evil. In fact, they are quite kind, but filled with grief and guilt unimaginable. Outcast angels are usually formed when they have failed something, and ridden with guilt, they are banned out of heaven, sent down to earth, and live alone. They are always quite and sad, and rarely contact with humans. If a human befriends an outcast angel, they have a friend for life.
Thats me alright... Blah. Okay Im bored. |
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| Sunday 14th March 2004 07:08 |
...I've been alone all along... |
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| blah. I had a good time at Allys house, especially at pizza hut haha guys...that lil kid. was pretty funny. But then I get picked up today by my mom...and david. so things started going downhill. Then we come home and im such a stupid blonde that i left a poem down here and they found it and obviously read it and now my moms tryin to be all nice to me and its fuckin annoying as hell. my stomach hurts from the damn brownies ally...haha. just like with the pizza. it was really fun driving around past ur lovers house...haha we're not stalking... teehee. And Ally and Rachel were doing the funniest damn things.. Alright at the play, ally kept turning around to look at someone and i was like i see you looking at him. and then at pizza hut rachel kept looking at this cute lil kid and im like rachel stop looking at him. haha. we were so obnoxious in pizza hut me and ally kept making loud noises and rachels like you guys are so rude. but it was funny. blah im bored and i got hw to do. |
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| Sunday 07th March 2004 02:24 |
...No one knows the pain inside... |
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| Im so fuckin bored today. I walked the dog, then walked to the store, and then back home, then to the store again, bought a disposable camera, walked around taking pictures, came home watched a movie and then went out and took more pictures. woo fun times. i have a blister on my foot from my sandal. but i got a picture of the slow children sign which i think is hilarious. and i also got a pic of a dead end sign. i took a lot of random pics, but its all good. im so fuckin bored!! idk what to write. |
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| Saturday 06th March 2004 08:08 |
duh |
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| my mom is so lame...this whole time shes been yelling at me to call earthlink and i dont even have the total access thing so it has nothing to do with it, yet im still not allowed to use her comp even tho its not my fault. how fuckin gay is she. my god. GRRRR. my comp is so retarded...the firewall decided to work for some gay reason today but now the internet thingy isnt working... perfect. P.O.S! but whatever. UGH!!! and now the thing ive been waiting forever for my brother to send me wont fuckin work. I hate today!!! its like the worst day. hah yeah right not even by a long shot. this is one of the best days ive had. thats really fuckin sad. i need to talk to someone but they arent on. wow thats familiar. im so fuckin lonely i cant stand it. ((Im alone in this darkness, wheres a shoulder to cry on when i need it? Where are you when i need you the most? Oh thats right, you dont care about me at all)) Im so cold, why is it always so damn cold? this is so pathetic im cold hungry lonely and tired... wow i have problems. im so annoying to myself. shit im gonna go now |
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| Saturday 06th March 2004 03:11 |
ha! |
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| HA! i didnt write yesterday so i lied before cuz i said i was gonna write yesterday n i didnt. so there. I didnt go to the dance yesterday cuz ally couldnt come. so me n stacey watched movies...woo fun. I hope i didnt make a mistake by not going...eek. Im so mad at chris, he was supposed to be with emily n he ignored her and danced with other girls. hes lucky i wasnt there cuz i would have beaten him. ugh. i cant believe i ever liked him what was i thinking? makes me sick. oh well thats over with. i really need to get out of this house...david is back to his normal bitchy self even tho he has to like eat low sodium stuff, ect but i dont fuckin care he can die for all i care. I really dont think i could care any less for him. He ruined my life and he deserves to suffer. and im the biggest bitch i know. wow if i were someone else i wouldnt talk to me. i deserve to suffer for saying such mean things! ugh im such a hypocrite...i just read what i wrote and i said he should suffer but then i said i need to suffer. soo stupid. no wonder no one likes me. im an ugly person inside and out. fuck. im going to go now |
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| Thursday 04th March 2004 06:11 |
...I've been alone all along... |
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| The dance is tomrrow...wonder how its gonna go. Ally you gotta let me know if ur gonna come too. NERD it'll be better with u there. Aprils bro wont pick her up till midnight n it ends at 11 so i told her i'd wait like a retard there with her hehe so ally u better come so we're not bored. at least it SHOULD be warm, but ya never know in this gay place. ((My black backpack stuffed with broken dreams...20 bucks should get me thru the week...Never said a word of discontentment, thought it a thousand times but now im leaving home. Here in the shadows, im safe, im free, Ive no where else to go but i cannot stay where i dont belond...)) Im so freakin bored... idk what to do. I'd write something, but im all outta words. Davids comin back from the hospital tomorrow and in a way im really regreting it. This week has been the best week ive had since ive moved here, and even tho thats horribly mean to say, its true. And even with this being the best wee, its still terrible. So i can only imagine whats gonna happen tomorrow. I dont know if im gonna make it... I dont really want to. My god ive just realized that i should write in this journal... too many people can read it, and i dont think i want them too. Im letting too many people know whats going on and i dont want to. So im not gonna write about this shit anymore. Yeah fuckin right i know tomorrow im gonna write more. Im so fucking stupid. I hate myself im such a liar. Bye |
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| Wednesday 03rd March 2004 08:34 |
If i bleed, I'll bleed, knowing you dont care |
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| Yeah, i know this is like my third journal...but ya know what? I DONT FUCKIN CARE!!! if you dont like it, dont fuckin read it. My other one was a piece of shit so i got a new one. I hate today...it totally sucked. Only a few parts were good, when i was with him... but other than that i wanted to die. The dance is on friday, n allys prolly gonna go to it too. I want to go with him...lol but i doubt it'll happen. wahh well ya know, no one loves me ((JENNA)) lol so im used to this shit by now. I really dont understand why im still messin around n why i dont just do somethin already...
...All the little pieces falling..shattered. Shards of me, too sharp to put back together, too small to matter. But big enough to cut me... |
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